Pleasure/Pain

Want to know why some people bully others and their reasoning behind their hurtful actions? Ask your questions here and have a reformed, repentant bully answer and help you understand why they bullied people in the first place.

Pleasure/Pain

Postby YesMan » Fri May 11, 2012 9:21 am

Did you bully because it brought you pleasure or did you bully because you were in pain?
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby belonging » Tue May 15, 2012 1:49 pm

Sometimes when kids are abused to their breaking point they start lashing out at other kids because their own personal bully is too much for them to handle. They get pleasure out of seeing the fear on others faces because it makes them finally feel powerful after feeling so weak from their bully. So you are getting both feelings in this scenario. Pain from the origin of the bullying and the pleasure they get from becoming the bully personally. As they become young adults and into adulthood they begin to realize that they only lashed out at others because they hurt so much . This transition can bring a lot of shame and cause more damage to their mind but kids are only a product of their environment so if you can accept that you were introduced to violence at too young of an age then you can recover fully.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby coverup » Tue May 22, 2012 3:41 pm

A child that is bullied by an adult can seriously damage their thinking process. Adults are their role models in a sense and in their juvenile head they can come to the conclusion that bullying is ok if you are bigger because thats what I have learned. They get the pleasure out of feeling like the big man or the boss. When a child is abused mentally and physically they can be morphed into a bully at a very young age because they are so impressionable. If this child enjoys causing pain to others they can become mentally damaged until they have intensive psychological help.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby VPsoul » Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:07 pm

Those two feelings go hand in hand when you talk to a child bully. They feel so much pain and so much pressure from being bullied that they have to make someone feel that way for enjoyment. Truth is when you are doing it you dont understand why it makes you feel good but when you have a bully of your own and feel the terror and pain they inflict on you then you dont questioned what makes you feel good because you just like the feeling.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby indirect » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:03 pm

I think its a false sense of pleasure and when your brain associates pleasure with a certain situation your response is to want it again thus a bully has been created.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby irishclover » Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:30 am

Being bullied can make your personality be altered. You can flip a switch and only find happiness when you are bullying someone else. You dont like the feeling of being dominated so the only way for you to be happy is when you have that power over someone else.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby Inspired » Thu Jan 17, 2013 2:00 pm

indirect wrote :
> I think its a false sense of pleasure and when your brain associates
> pleasure with a certain situation your response is to want it again thus a
> bully has been created.

I agree with this too
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby MizCeeDub » Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:01 pm

coverup wrote :
> A child that is bullied by an adult can seriously damage their thinking
> process. Adults are their role models in a sense and in their juvenile head
> they can come to the conclusion that bullying is ok if you are bigger
> because thats what I have learned. They get the pleasure out of feeling
> like the big man or the boss. When a child is abused mentally and
> physically they can be morphed into a bully at a very young age because
> they are so impressionable. If this child enjoys causing pain to others
> they can become mentally damaged until they have intensive psychological
> help.
This is very true... I think when kids bully, it stems from home environment. They feel introverted and to feel extroverted, they bully at school to make up for the lack of positive affection at home.
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby Wellness » Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:24 am

Which is why we need to provide counseling for bullies instead of dishing out hard punishments. Often bullies dont realize what they are doing because they cannot analyze themselves
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Re: Pleasure/Pain

Postby MizCeeDub » Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:18 am

Wellness wrote :
> Which is why we need to provide counseling for bullies instead of dishing
> out hard punishments. Often bullies dont realize what they are doing
> because they cannot analyze themselves
Very true. Its a learned thing. I really wish schools could find a way to support bullies, kind of like domestic violence abusers. They take anger management classes. There was an article i read about a bully school. Once you were expelled from your school, they sent you to this school with other bullies. They had regular classes and incorporated classes on bullying and how their actions affecred others. One of the girls they interviewed for class said she hadnt realized how her words hurt other girls and even teachers. Once the students exhibited understanding of their actions and stopped, this school would allow them to do a few days at their regular school. If they kept up the good behavior, they would petition to allow them to finish and graduate with their class. If not, they stayed at this school with other bullies. Most of the kids change their ways. The girl said, she was a bully, but whrn she came to that school she dealt with bullying herself and with the classe s on bullying, she learned her lesson..
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