Dont blow them off

Have advice for parents of a bullied kid? What can they do? How can they help?

Dont blow them off

Postby SunnySlim » Mon Apr 16, 2012 3:44 pm

As a parent sometimes the stress of every day life can leave you jaded by the time it comes to your kids problems. You may view their problems as minor and not take them serious because you have bigger problems to worry about. Keep in mind you were young once too and those things matter a lot to you. Having your parents support when you are experiencing a tough time is immeasurable. When your child has a concern about mistreatment at school you should take immediate actions if you want your child to know that you have their back.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby REDtape » Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:16 am

Also dont forget that you have to be your child's strong figure in their life. When they get home they want to feel safe and supported. If they feel alone at school and cant wait to come home where they feel accepted you can damage that feeling by down playing their problems. As a parent you should listen first and talk second. If they come to you for help and you tell them you are too tired or its not that big of a deal you are giving them negative reinforcement. Now you wont be the one that they turned to when they have a problem anymore. What if they have nobody else to turn to? Now you are turning your back on your kid when they need you most. Their problems are probably not as serious as they make it but giving them the chance to explain then offering advice will make your kids value your advice much more. Giving them a sense of understanding will go a long way for a kid.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby brianLee » Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:57 am

The more receptive you are to your kids stories the more they will come to you when they need help. When a kid is being bullied they are desperate for guidance and when you tell them its no big deal you are showing them that they are not important and they will shut down emotinally. Even if you feel that your advice is very basic it might be very helpful and keep them out of harms way. I think that you should spend 5-10 a day talking with your kids about how their days went and they will be more open for discussion because they will feel more comfortable.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby simpleplan » Mon May 21, 2012 1:13 pm

Dont you remember what it was like when you were a kid and had something important to say to someone who is an adult and they blew you off. I do and it always made me feel like a didnt matter. If a kid is confiding in you for some help dont just say something hallmarky like oh you are alright or it will get better. Really take the time to listen to them and explain why they should not take it so seriously so that they understand. You could help kids a lot by just listening and making them feel like they mean something. Dealing with a bully on your own can be very lonely and fightening.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby haywire » Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:54 pm

If you dont listen when they need you they will decide that you arent the person they go to for help anymore.Once that comfort level and full trust is gone because you have neglected their needs it will be very hard to get it bad. I dont know about you but I want my daughters to come to me whenever something is bothering them and I want to be the one who solves the problem and is the hero for them.Telling them that their problems arent as important as your is not going to make them comfortable with you.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby AnimateD » Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:12 pm

Parents will get caught up in the every day grind and lose sight of what is important. You child needs to be able to tell you his or her problems and you should help them. If you dont have an answer then you find someone that does. If you cannot give the time for the advice you have to make sure they can speak to someone with a credible background before they start taking their problems else where and making the wrong choices.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby Whispers » Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:50 am

SunnySlim wrote :
> As a parent sometimes the stress of every day life can leave you jaded by
> the time it comes to your kids problems. You may view their problems as
> minor and not take them serious because you have bigger problems to worry
> about. Keep in mind you were young once too and those things matter a lot
> to you. Having your parents support when you are experiencing a tough time
> is immeasurable. When your child has a concern about mistreatment at school
> you should take immediate actions if you want your child to know that you
> have their back.

You always want your child to know that you have their back no matter what.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby Door3 » Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:49 am

simpleplan wrote :
> Dont you remember what it was like when you were a kid and had something
> important to say to someone who is an adult and they blew you off. I do and
> it always made me feel like a didnt matter. If a kid is confiding in you
> for some help dont just say something hallmarky like oh you are alright or
> it will get better. Really take the time to listen to them and explain why
> they should not take it so seriously so that they understand. You could
> help kids a lot by just listening and making them feel like they mean
> something. Dealing with a bully on your own can be very lonely and
> fightening.

I sure do and that is why I have become such a good listener over the years because even kids have something important to say they just take a little longer to get the point across.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby NoAgain » Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:48 pm

We have to keep our relationships with our children close so they want to divulge important information to us.When you don't listen to them or ask them questions regularly they will keep things from you that could potentially hurt them.Always have an open mind when speaking to them so they won't shut you out of their life.
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Re: Dont blow them off

Postby BrightW » Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:06 pm

Sometimes parents get caught up with everyday life and forget that their kids depend on them for help.When you stop wanting to help them with their problems is when they start getting advice from other people and it may be really bad.Thats the risk you have by not wanting to listen.
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