Parent bullying

Is your dad telling you to stop crying and toughen up? How do you get him to listen?

Re: Parent bullying

Postby StuntGirl » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:01 pm

newaged wrote :
> It sad to think about kids being treated like that by their dads.You cant
> choose your dad

Way too many parents out there that should have not been allowed to leave the hospital with their baby
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby XYZart » Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:08 pm

If you can bully your own son or daughter you need to go visit a shrink and find out what your problem is because its not the kids.
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby MizCeeDub » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:16 am

I was bullied by my mom, and years later after we stopped speaking when I became an adult, she finally confessed that she was abused by her mom and step dad and she was always regretful of me cause of my dad. It was how she was raised. I vowed to never bully my kids. I don't have the heart to be mean to anyone, but being on the victim side, I couldn't put anyone through that kind of hurt. At least my mom is seeing and admitting to her mistakes, better late then never, but it took a long time for me to trust her and have a relationship with her again.
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby littleme123 » Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:34 am

I was bullied by both of my parents. For some reason, all of their anger and frustrations were taken out on me and not my other three siblings (I'm second youngest). My dad would yell, threaten me with violence, push me, smack me, pinch my arms. Everything I did wasn't good enough. One of my chores was to clean the bathroom, if I did it quickly, I was a lazy brat, if I did it really well, I was a neurotic perfectionist. My mom always made fun of me saying I looked like I was anorexic, my makeup looked like crap, the family has never liked me, I was annoying, etc. When I was 15 I had my first real boyfriend so they started calling me a wh*re and a slut. One time when I was 14, I came home 5 minutes after curfew and he waited by the door in the dark, and as soon as I walked in he backhanded me in the face hard enough to crack my tooth. When I was 16 he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me down two flights of stairs. It was in a public place, and it took 3 grown men to pull him off of me. As soon as he had been taken off of me I ran away, I had no idea what he would do to me once we were in private, and I was honestly afraid for my life. I found a homeless shelter for teens and stayed there for 3 months until I was able to save money to rent a small room.

My parents and I didn't talk for 2 years, until I was 18, and over the years I have tried to mend the relationship, but they will never stop bullying me verbally and emotionally. It wasn't until they were calling me names (stupid - even though I started my Ph.D. program when I was 21, a fool, that no one likes me, etc.) in front of my kids and started making fun of them (saying they were antisocial, had social phobia, looked "bad" - my daughter was 2 at the time) that I finally said enough is enough. I may not have been strong enough to stand up for myself, but NO ONE treats my children badly without me turning into a mama bear ;)

It is difficult to accept the fact that your parents are not the loving, supportive people that society has raised you to expect, and there is a certain grieving process that you have to go through in order to accept it. But when you surround yourself with friends that love you, you learn to build your own, new "family". I am definitely scarred from the years I spent with parents who bully me, and there are days where I feel like I will never be worth anything and never be wanted, but it DOES get better.

It is very hard to find information about family/parental bullies online. And it makes you feel very lonely. The first step that is recommended when you are bullied is to... tell your parents, right? Well, in this case you can't do that. If you tell another adult, then what happens? Say they believe you, the first thing they would do is to talk to your parents. And those who have been in this situation know that that is poking the hornets nest, because as soon as those doors close you are in for a world of hurt for "breaking the family trust".
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby MizCeeDub » Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:43 pm

littleme123 wrote :
> I was bullied by both of my parents. For some reason, all of their anger
> and frustrations were taken out on me and not my other three siblings (I'm
> second youngest). My dad would yell, threaten me with violence, push me,
> smack me, pinch my arms. Everything I did wasn't good enough. One of my
> chores was to clean the bathroom, if I did it quickly, I was a lazy brat,
> if I did it really well, I was a neurotic perfectionist. My mom always made
> fun of me saying I looked like I was anorexic, my makeup looked like crap,
> the family has never liked me, I was annoying, etc. When I was 15 I had my
> first real boyfriend so they started calling me a wh*re and a slut. One
> time when I was 14, I came home 5 minutes after curfew and he waited by the
> door in the dark, and as soon as I walked in he backhanded me in the face
> hard enough to crack my tooth. When I was 16 he grabbed me by the neck and
> pushed me down two flights of stairs. It was in a public place, and it took
> 3 grown men to pull him off of me. As soon as he had been taken off of me I
> ran away, I had no idea what he would do to me once we were in private, and
> I was honestly afraid for my life. I found a homeless shelter for teens and
> stayed there for 3 months until I was able to save money to rent a small
> room.
>
> My parents and I didn't talk for 2 years, until I was 18, and over the
> years I have tried to mend the relationship, but they will never stop
> bullying me verbally and emotionally. It wasn't until they were calling me
> names (stupid - even though I started my Ph.D. program when I was 21, a
> fool, that no one likes me, etc.) in front of my kids and started making
> fun of them (saying they were antisocial, had social phobia, looked
> "bad" - my daughter was 2 at the time) that I finally said enough
> is enough. I may not have been strong enough to stand up for myself, but NO
> ONE treats my children badly without me turning into a mama bear ;)
>
> It is difficult to accept the fact that your parents are not the loving,
> supportive people that society has raised you to expect, and there is a
> certain grieving process that you have to go through in order to accept it.
> But when you surround yourself with friends that love you, you learn to
> build your own, new "family". I am definitely scarred from the
> years I spent with parents who bully me, and there are days where I feel
> like I will never be worth anything and never be wanted, but it DOES get
> better.
>
> It is very hard to find information about family/parental bullies online.
> And it makes you feel very lonely. The first step that is recommended when
> you are bullied is to... tell your parents, right? Well, in this case you
> can't do that. If you tell another adult, then what happens? Say they
> believe you, the first thing they would do is to talk to your parents. And
> those who have been in this situation know that that is poking the hornets
> nest, because as soon as those doors close you are in for a world of hurt
> for "breaking the family trust".


Me and you could relate... stay strong. I've learned that their bad treatment to me was there own insecurities and in a way, jealousy. Come find me if you ever want to talk @mizceedub!
MizCeeDub
 
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby CRaCKeD » Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:05 am

littleme123 I was shaking my head while reading your story and I know it wont mean much coming from a random person but I am really sorry you had to go through that because its so wrong.
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby MizCeeDub » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:14 pm

Cracked,
You'd be surprised what a strangers words could have on you... Sometimes it means more to you than from someone you know, because they aren't judging you, rather they are listening (reading) and relating to you in that moment.... ;)
MizCeeDub
 
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby Wait4it » Tue May 14, 2013 12:42 pm

If anyone sees that movie "This is 40" there are a couple of scenes of parent bullying and it is hilarious
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby teeeesha » Fri May 17, 2013 11:16 pm

Never heard of that movie. Who is in it?
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Re: Parent bullying

Postby thumper » Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:08 am

XYZart wrote :
> If you can bully your own son or daughter you need to go visit a shrink and
> find out what your problem is because its not the kids.

No kidding look at yourself in the mirror
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