Manly Men

Is your dad telling you to stop crying and toughen up? How do you get him to listen?

Manly Men

Postby jumpingbean » Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:40 pm

When a man has a son he has hopes and dreams of him turning out to be a better version of himself. When that doesnt happen it can cause the Father/son relationship to become unstable. This is amplified if the father is a very manly man who expects the same kind of toughness out of his son. The father may be doing this because he thinks it is the best way to "toughen up" his son and force him to become more like him. Although it may work with some kids the others it will have an adverse effect. The child may think that he is now being bullied by his own father and once his home could be considered a safe haven is now another war zone. As a result the child may become completely withdrawn from school, friends , and even family causing a bigger problem then before. Remember that the tactics your father once used on you may not work on your son so dont put him down more by calling them a wuss but rather take a different approach to solving the problem.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby 5inDIME » Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:36 pm

At the end of the day that is still your son and it is your job to raise that son. If you expect it to be easy and have your son be just like you then you have a long road ahead of you and I hope you change your ways. Wanting your son to be like you is not a bad thing but forcing him to be like you and belittling him into changing himself for your approval is not right. You should give your kids the option of who they want to be if you really love them. If any kid is reading this and your dad is one of these guys believe me even if you think he doesnt he loves you he is just frustrated because he isnt getting his way. He will eventually come around and know that he will always love you so just weather the storm a little bit because every father and son have disagreements about life no matter who you are.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby HuggieBear » Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:31 am

If your dad is trying to mold you a certain way but you dont fit that mold then that is your dads problem, not yours. Its not your fault that you dont like sports or fighting or all the stuff that your dad is into. There are no rules that say you have to follow in your dads footsteps but there are also no rules on how to properly raise a son. Sometimes when men dont get what they want then they lash out at others because they need to place the blame on someone. In this case it is the son who is getting the blame. All a boy wants is the acceptance from his father and when he doesnt get it then the feeling of self worth goes down the drain. Dads cant be too hard on their sons because it will deeply effect their demeanor and they will distance themselves from their father. If they associate their dad as being a hard nose rugged man that will bash them if they dont live like he does then they will withdraw from the relationship. This is the ultimate problem in a father son dispute and can last a lifetime. Try to avoid having a battle like this at all costs because the emotional toll that it will take on both of them can be too much to bare.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby JackBauer » Wed May 02, 2012 1:30 pm

Its a mans job when he becomes a father to get his son ready for becoming a man. Sometimes the right thing to do doesnt always make your son happy with you but when it is all said and done they will love you very much and be forever greatful for all of your time and patience while teaching them. I would rather have a manly dad then a passive because when you get out into the real world after having a manly dad then so many people seem like they are the wuss since your dad was so tough on you. If your dad was passive you will have a harder transition becoming an adult because they know hwo cruel the world can be. If your dad calls you a wuss he is not trying to be mean he is just preparing you for what the harsh world will say and do to you.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby SuperDad » Fri May 18, 2012 3:28 pm

No man will turn away their son when he is crying.If you really are being bullied by your own father then you need to let him know exactly how you feel. He may think he is doing it for your own good but you cant live like that. If he mistreats you and you continue to let it fester your relationship will suffer and you will have a difficult time being friends when you become an adult. Your problems wont go away on your own. You have to stand up to youe dad if you want him to respect you.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby calledout » Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:15 pm

Dads try their best but sometimes will do more harm than good. I would like it if dads could have sensitivity training with their sons sometimes and realize it isnt all about being tough all the time. You have to be in touch with your emotions and when you berade a kid then you will keep him from showing the true person inside and will destroy his growing process.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby KidXX » Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:23 am

I grew up without a Dad so I would rather have him thinking I was a wuss and have some interaction rather than walking around with no father at all.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby invent » Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:48 am

calledout wrote :
> Dads try their best but sometimes will do more harm than good. I would like
> it if dads could have sensitivity training with their sons sometimes and
> realize it isnt all about being tough all the time. You have to be in touch
> with your emotions and when you berade a kid then you will keep him from
> showing the true person inside and will destroy his growing process.

I dont think that a dad who calls his son a wuss would be willing or even believe in going to sensitivity training classes. I would ask your dad questions about when he was your age what he was doing and see if that story matches with your aunts and uncles so you can get a better idea of what he was like at your age. Having an understanding of each other will help you move forward.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby NoseBleedSection » Tue Oct 16, 2012 3:22 pm

Sometimes these men are very hard to convince that any way but their is the right way. Getting the point across that their children are different from them is near impossible. Remember that you can only try to communicate but you cannot force someone into a particular way of thinking. If you and your father dont see eye to eye then you just have to accept that you will never agree or it will devistate you.
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Re: Manly Men

Postby Aiding » Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:04 am

KidXX wrote :
> I grew up without a Dad so I would rather have him thinking I was a wuss
> and have some interaction rather than walking around with no father at all.

Im sorry that you didnt have a father growing up but you would be devistated if the guy you loved the most was mean and crude to you. I understand your frustrations with not having a father but having one that isnt on your side is still very difficult to live with.
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