Write a letter

Is your dad telling you to stop crying and toughen up? How do you get him to listen?

Re: Write a letter

Postby MizCeeDub » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:19 am

Writing a letter is always a good idea. You have time to get your thoughts out, think about what you want you want to say, how your going to say it, and time to really think of all the reasons your upset. Sometimes yelling or blurting out things, feelings get hurt, or words may not come out right, or you leave out things. This way its easier for the parent to read and understand exactly where your coming from.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby SimpleMan » Tue Feb 19, 2013 2:19 pm

Being a parent myself if my daughter had to write me a letter to express how she is feelings I would have to do a better job of being available and open to any type of conversation she wants to have. I do not want her to ever feel afraid to talk to me. With that being said I think ever parent would take it seriously if their child spent time writing a letter about something that was bothering them. It brings the awareness level up a few notches.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby MizCeeDub » Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:08 pm

SimpleMan wrote :
> Being a parent myself if my daughter had to write me a letter to express
> how she is feelings I would have to do a better job of being available and
> open to any type of conversation she wants to have. I do not want her to
> ever feel afraid to talk to me. With that being said I think ever parent
> would take it seriously if their child spent time writing a letter about
> something that was bothering them. It brings the awareness level up a few
> notches.
At the same time, your not bullying your child,... if your being bullied by your parent, there is no feelings of safety when talking to them about your feelings. Once you allow a bully to know your weakness, they play off of that. My children know at anytime they can come talk to me, but me, being bullied by my mom and step dad, I would not say anything. Even when there were moments that we did talk, I would be afraid to bring it up for fear of losing the money of sanity.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby pray4them » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:35 pm

Wanting your children to be afraid of you is not good parenting. You want them to understand you and learn from you because fear will only drive them away and sometimes they rebel. Either way they develop bad personality disorders. I like that this advice offers the alternative to speaking directly but I still think face to face chats are going to make the biggest impact.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby ShawnW » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:15 pm

I was so scared of my dad growing up which is why I would always have to get my mom to talk to him for me. She was always open to discuss anything and make me feel like I wasn't a problem child. My dad would want everything to be perfect all the time and as soon as one thing didnt go right he would explode and say how we werent thankful for what we get and so many kids wished they had what we had. I was always too afraid to talk to him and thats exactly what I dont want to be with my kids one day.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby MizCeeDub » Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:15 pm

ShawnW wrote :
> I was so scared of my dad growing up which is why I would always have to
> get my mom to talk to him for me. She was always open to discuss anything
> and make me feel like I wasn't a problem child. My dad would want
> everything to be perfect all the time and as soon as one thing didnt go
> right he would explode and say how we werent thankful for what we get and
> so many kids wished they had what we had. I was always too afraid to talk
> to him and thats exactly what I dont want to be with my kids one day.
I'm sorry for your childhood. I hope you are closer now that your older. I do hope things got better. Always here if you want to chat!
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Re: Write a letter

Postby shakeIT » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:09 am

The best thing about writing a letter is that you can make as many drafts as you want. When you are speaking it is hard to take back what you said or begin again but when you proof read your letter you can change it as many times as you want until it gets the point across that you need
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Re: Write a letter

Postby MizCeeDub » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:34 am

shakeIT wrote :
> The best thing about writing a letter is that you can make as many drafts
> as you want. When you are speaking it is hard to take back what you said or
> begin again but when you proof read your letter you can change it as many
> times as you want until it gets the point across that you need

This is true. I still write letters to this day. I know that when you speak, things don't come out right, or may be said wrong, or misinterpreted. SO writing it, not only fixes those flaws, but also is ON PAPER so later, you can't say something I said or didn't say. It's on 'record".
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Re: Write a letter

Postby RussoC » Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:43 am

I have become very good at expressing myself through writing because I had a diary when I was younger. I think that when you can put your thoughts on paper freely you can really get what you need out of your head and feel so much better.
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Re: Write a letter

Postby MizCeeDub » Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:38 am

I was taught to keep a journal of thoughts, and what I had been doing when those thoughts came about. I've learned to notice what triggers my episodes of pain and now how I should do it. My friends call weird, my ex said I was damaged goods, but my husband says he see's it as a woman who has overcome a tragic childhood and young adult life. He even writes every now and then. Great stress relief.
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