Taylor Thompson
Bullying Survivor
Female | Sacramento, CA   United States
Different
Bullying Type: Emotional
Twitter @Helltic_Crow

Posted By: HellticCrowUser Verified
10/04/14 10:43 AM
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While my story isn't nearly as bad as many, like any bullying, it wasn't fun, nor should I or anyone else have gone through it. Ever since Kindergarten, I was.... "different"? I really don't know if that's the right word, but that's all I can think to explain it. Maybe everyone had already clicked with each other? And I was destroying that click, but I was treated different. Sure other people I guess got bullied, but then again I became their relief. Never physical, just words. Stupid, ugly, gross, freak. It started small, but at the tender ages of 5 and 6 and 7, when confident begins to build, it didn't seem small. Emotionally, by 3rd or 4th grade, I was screwed. I consider myself now, emotionally unstable, and it sucks, and its probably the hardest thing for me to control and cope with, because in school, if I got frustrated, I'm in tears, someone says something to me, in tears, and etc. I had one friend up until 6th grade, all my life, one friend. My mom would ask "you have more than one friend at school right?" and I said yes. "you aren't getting bullied at school right?" no, I'm not. School's good. And thus I learned how to lie from a young age. By 6th grade, I completely changed my personality, for the worse. I decided if they wanted to hate me, I'd give them a reason. I became this pessimistic, blood and death obsessed freak. All through my life, never once had I cut (though finding it sometime "relaxing" to dig my nails into my arm, I understand why people do it) and never once had I attempted to take my life, those thought always sat at the back of my head. "no one would notice and the wouldn't care". But I've always learned suicide was selfish, and I couldn't do that to my mom either. She lost my dad to leukemia, and I would never wish for her to lose me too. While I've never been physically hurt by anyone, when I was 5, my uncle used to say he was gonna beat me with a belt. He once told me to get my cousin's spiked belt because it would hurt more. It was just me and him in the house. I walked into my cousin's room to get the belt for my uncle, and just stood there, unsure of what to do. I can remember the rest, but i guess I obviously didn't get it. I think that was the only time he did that, and looking back, he was probably joking, but at 5, I didn't know that. Since my mom is a single mom, she has to work all day meaning i go to my aunt's and uncle's for the day. where jokingly, I'm called retarded, but it still hurts. My uncle, numerous times has called me selfish, and if you knew him, you know why it makes me so angry. The bullying at school was mostly the boys, at least the worst of it was from them, and them that combined with my uncle has given me terrible trust issues, especially towards men. On another occasion about the time I was in 5th grade maybe, one kid was having a pool party, and everyone was going, so I went. On arrival, I got out of the car and went over to the party, which I'm greeted with "oh, great, she's here." I've never wanted to leave a place so fast, but my family knew nothing, so and I didn't want them to know, so I stayed. I hate parties. Why go and hang out with people you don't even like, and who don't like you. Ever since graduation into high school, the bullying kinda stopped. I mean, my friends still tear me down from time to time, some more than other, but I've also made really good friends who don't. While I'd like to leave the friends to tear me down, I feel I can't, because I still don't have many friends, and I have a hard time making new ones, so I don't want to lose any. I think really, what saved my sanity was music. I discovered I wasn't alone, and even these rich, famous, rock stars had hard past's, and that really helped, and the have inspired me to not want to be a no body any more. I'm going to be someone. Well, that's about it. Thanks, I guess to anyone who reads. This is the first time I've ever put this down in words. It's normally pushed into the darkest part of my mind for know one but me to know about.



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Story Details


Name: Taylor Thompson
Age: 21
Twitter: Twitter @Helltic_Crow
Country: United States
Location: Sacramento, CA
Gender: Female
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: Single
Profession: Student
Education level: High school
University: N/A
Ethnicity: White or Caucasian
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5 ft 2 in
Weight: 120
Tattoos: No

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