Matthew Bollinger
Bullying Survivor
Male | Goldsboro, NC   United States
Surviving
Bullying Type: Physical / Emotional
Posted By: RusticUser Verified
4/24/14 5:23 PM
2.5 star rating
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Hello readers, I am a Senior Airman of the United States Air Force and I am here to tell you it gets better. I understand you all hear this from everyone who tries to empathize with you but it does, I was and I still am in your shoes but I want you to understand something. Do not change who you are or what you stand for. So with out Further delay here is my story to be told:

It started with Middle school for me, brand new State to live in a clean slate with no friends. I was quiet and didn't really fit in and I became easy pray. I made it through the 7th grade with out a hitch but the start of my roughest years was to come. In 8th grade I had to change schools yet again this time, it was several Middle school districts in one. The friends I made in 7th grade were gone and I was left alone. I became friends with the wrong people who wanted to use me as a cheat book since most of my classes were with them, when I tried to break free from them the harassment started. At first it was simple name calling but I got to me, then it became physical...such as pushing and shoving. Gym class became the worst of it, it gave them an outlet since I wasn't the most physically inclined. I then made 'friends' with the popular kids only to be used and toyed with sexual and verbal harassment. Toward the end of the school year I found out what real bullying was. They worked together...the first was roughly 6'2 and a slight muscle build, the second about 5'9 and heavy set. The first was verbal abuse and it was unrelenting, the second was physical.. He would hit me and push me and treat me like a rag doll...he would even spit on me or at least try to. He was later suspended...not because I came forward..but because others saw it and feared for my well being.

High school was torture for me. I had minimal friends...that eventually grew to abandon me and even...target me with verbal harassment. The worse part....My heavy set Bully was in this school...and so was his brother. For the first time in my life I feared..and I mean I feared for my life but I felt trapped and like I couldn't tell anyone..people noticed, they even checked on me but never did they tell anyone...It didn't just stop there...Gym was my worst nightmare...Seniors and Freshman had the same gym time in the morning... and If it wasn't for 2 seniors... It would have been the worst experience for me..they stepped up and informed the teachers...I was out of the loop and my gym class bullies were expelled. Eventually I grew a bull's eye on my back and became the target for everyone...all the way up to my Senior year...never saying a word and just bottling it in....

Now one would think that the Armed Forces wouldn't allow such things to happen...but it does on a daily basis. My first experience was in Tech School where I was learning my job. I was naive and trusting....to trusting... I had a few friends but they graduated and moved on. I was left alone yet again with a torrent of verbal abuse....

Flash forward to my First and Last duty assignment. Brand new meat thrown to the wolves...literally... Sexual, physical and even verbal harassment ensued. I bottled it up..because it wasn't just coming from my peers but even those who out ranked me all the way up to the Rank of Master Sargent... That's right Someone who has been in the Military for at-least 15 years...was bullying a brand new Airman.... It didn't just end there.. A chance opened up for me to change what I did if not temporarily.. Since what I volunteered for was a 2 year commitment that now has last the greater part of 3.5 years. I proved I was up for the job was excited...but became burnt out..after a few months... Once again I became the target and treated like garbage...like I was worthless and stupid... It got bad... extremely bad in 2013... I tried to take my life... when it failed.. I decided to keep it a secret.

Lets end the story there..since I am alive and getting the help I need. I still struggle with the bullying though it not physical anymore..its Sexual and Verbal...

Im not trying to put my self into your situation not trying to tell you to suck it up and push on with it. Not telling you what you should and shouldn't do but, What I am doing is merely suggesting to you. Take a stand inform someone and don't let it consume your life it did mine.



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Story Details
Name: Matthew Bollinger
Age: N/A
Country: United States
Location: Goldsboro, NC
Gender: Male
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Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: N/A
Profession: Other
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