Michelle W
Bullying Survivor
Female | Netherlands   Netherlands
Mentally tired.
Bullying Type: Emotional
Posted By: MissinkUser Verified
1/14/14 5:09 PM
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I was bullied while I was in high school. Mostly by a number of boys. One boy in particular, who would get all his buddies (inc. one girl) to team up on me too.
They harassed me, told me that I looked like a freak, that I was ugly and they made sexual comments at me. I felt humiliated when they'd bully me in front of everyone. I had 2 friends in school that were in my class, whenever they both wouldn't be attending class, I looked for excuses to stay away too, because I was afraid of being alone in class, I faked being sick and I faked dentist appointments just to get out of class.
I was genuinely scared of being belittled, because that is what they were doing.
It didn't only stay in school, one day my bully followed me home from school on his bike, I didn't know he was following me, until I stopped at my house and he rode by waving at me. He now knew where I lived. He started terrorizing me, he threw eggs at our house numerous times. Every time my dad went outside they were already gone... We lived on the corner of a street and at night they'd kick loudly against the brick wall of our house. It scared the crap out of me, they did this only once, but it made me breakdown in front of my parents, I just didn't know how to get them to stop. My parents went to school and talked to the teachers, but of course, the teachers didn't do anything. One thing I will also never forget is when my guidance teacher was walking in front of me on the huge staircase in the school and a few bullies we're walking behind me and held my feet, so I fell right behind the teacher. I felt tears well up in my eyes, I felt really hopeless. And the teacher looked me right in the eyes and when I got up and walked along he asked me "You don't like it when they do that?". I was perplexed at this question and all I did was shake my head, because I was just afraid of everything. I didn't speak a lot and I was generally scared of interaction with people, other than the other friends I hung out with. They were all "different" like me, but they didn't get as severely teased as me. I don't get why they were after me in particular.
But I eventually got through high school with a lot of struggles. The main thing that was painful is that nobody stood up for me, like ever. My parents wanted to, but I just thought that involving them would make the bullying even worse after they'd come in the picture and the last thing you want as your parents child, is to disappoint them and that is how I felt like, a disappointment because I didn't know how to stand up for myself. The only escape I had was music, that was all I had. But I owe so much to it, it's something that was always there, it didn't judge me and I could turn to world off for as long as I needed to.

What I want to say to people that are being bullied, find that thing that lights up your world more than anything when everything around you seems really dark and escape into it whenever you need to. I needed that escape more than anything. I thought about committing suicide more than once, I once almost did it... But I couldn't, it just didn't feel right. I didn't want them to win, I guess. And you shouldn't let them win, ever, because bullies are never better than you, if anything they are the insecure ones just with an extremely big mouth and trying to hide what is truly bothering them. Because it is not you, they picked you probably because they thought you were an easy target for their frustrations. Don't let them believe that you are less than them, always remember that you are better, because you are not a bully! And that makes you a ****ing great human already. Bullies are the scum of the earth and they will have their day and get what they deserve eventually.

I am now 25 years old, I'm doing things that I like, have my own little business.
I have few friends but the number of friends I have doesn't matter, it matters that I found people that take me as I am. I also have a boyfriend, he still helps me cope with the scars that I have, I suffer from (social) anxiety, but it has gotten a lot better over the years, time heals all wounds probably applies here.

How the bullying stopped? I don't know, it just stopped gradually once I got out of high school, it still went on some time, whenever I would cross paths with the bully. At first I wasn't strong enough and tried to avoid confrontation. But later on, I developed kind of an attitude, which I still have today and wasn't scared to walk past him anymore, hell, he looks really gross these days (he has for some years now), there is not much left of the macho guy that he used to be and he has the worst hair ever. So I just look back and laugh now.

Whenever I see someone get bullied, I stand up for them, because people did not do that for me and I wish they did. Don't forget that being bullied makes you that much stronger in the end, you just have to pull through all the shit that they give you first. But you will see that it does really get better for you! Just don't let them win.



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Story Details
Name: Michelle W
Age: 32
Country: Netherlands
Location: N/A
Gender: Female
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: In a relationship
Profession: Arts
Education level: Some college
University: N/A
Ethnicity: White or Caucasian
Hair Color: N/A
Eye Color: N/A
Height: N/A
Weight: N/A
Tattoos: Yes

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