Annie Barh
Bullying Survivor
Female | Boston, MA   United States
Why Me?
Bullying Type: Emotional
Twitter @None

Posted By: Angie163
2/20/13 10:48 AM
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Don't most people ask Why Me? when they are being made fun of. I never did get over high school. I loved so many parts of it as I was going from a private Catholic School in my neighborhood, wearing a uniform to a big public school where there were all nationalities, back in the 60s, this was a school you tested to get into. You could be a nurse by senior year, LPN then go on to get your BA. Wonderful, high achieving school. All of us had a different classification or job area from architecture to building homes. We were in a vocation/technical school. 4 periods of academia and 4 period of our expected area of work. Wonderful school. But I came from a large family of 8, I was the only girl until my baby sister was born when I was 16. I was the oldest. I had 2 blouses, 2 skirts and each day I wore one and washed the other, ironed it at night and had no sense of clothing, style nor did I have the figure to wear those tiny sizes. I was over 60 lbs overweight, teenager, wearing the same clothes each day. I was clean, I always had nice skin and I was smart. But I fought the weight battle and was lucky enough to have a gym teacher who made sure I was in gym 5 x a week. I had groups of boys waiting at the bottom of the stairs for the "whale to go by" and I had girls be the meanest calling me "dirty, smelly" and I could go on. By senior yr I had lost about 30 lbs but I still had to fight the weight problem most of the time until I was in my mid 20s then I learned how to move more, eat right and I was out of the house. Those 4 yrs were a nightmare. I had to go to school and it took me over 2 hrs to get there and get home. It was way across town and it was the school that would be the most productive in helping me achieve a future and I qualified. I did manage to hide and head up the Yearbook but no one knew who I was not really when it was time for the school pictures I never took mine home and no one at home asked about them. I worked everyday after school in a factory to stay in school. I am now a retired person at 65. I went on to college, very slowly as I worked, I achieved great things in the work world, one even being a person who hired flight attendants and dealt with unions for a int'l nat'l airline. Yes, I have been thinner, never being that size 8, but settling for a size 12, being so tall, I looked good. I didn't marry until I was 55 yrs old and I married well, a retired pilot who had never been married and with whom I have the best of the best kind of life. Why? Because I never, ever was cruel to anyone, I always was for the underdog, I always saw the good in people, I stayed positive and I learned this the hard way, because I knew how it felt to be the one whom everyone was unkind to, called me names, made fun of me, made it impossible for me to eat a sandwich in the lunch room, didn't go to a prom, didn't attend my high school graduation and I felt so alone but eventually someone saw something about it and it was a teacher who said "you can do this and you can do that, just do it" and I went with that all of my life. Graduating from college, I didn't attend, I didn't even tell anyone and I worked hard, made life life friends, but only 4 or 5. I am outgoing to a great extent but I really am an introvert that is something that stays with you. I feel so horrible for those who suffer due to their weight or poverty as I have lived thru both plus an alcoholic father. I felt tormented in school and at home, on some days. But I learned to get into a book and read and escape. Who would think that when I went back to a high school reunion that I would be the accomplished one, no children, everyone divorced or in bad marriages, dysfunctional children and I would be the one flying around the world if I wanted to, taking my Mom with me? But I didn't do that either, I didn't go to the reunion to "show anyone up" but I heard about it. I also heard about those who died in the VN War. Funny thing is I did run into a boy who tormented me weekly, it was his supreme desire to come up with some fat saying that destroyed my day and night, he was at the gym the other day on the bike next to mine and riding and talking to me, I guessed, complaining about his heart rehabilitation and how he hated his job as a school teacher and how his wife was a hypochondryac and then he mentioned when he was in high school and he mentioned the name of the school and then and only then I said I went to that school, we compared years of graduation and then he and I realized who each other were. He asked me about myself and I said nothing really except that I wished him well and when he asked what I ended up doing I said I graduated from law school, married a pilot and am thinking about retiring to travel more. He said what about illnesses and I said "well, I guess once I lost all that weight I just ate healthy from that point on and I never drank" so luckily by the good grace of God, I am healthy as I can be for 64. I still see him but I avoid him as he now thinks I am his friend and I just avoid him because I realize how miserable he is and probably always was, but he certainly was one of the reasons among many that I had a hate/love relationship with high school, but I will forever remember the teacher who had faith in me and said "you can do anything you want to do.........." and I did...........I have lived life fighting adversity because I am a female, I have fought the battle of the scale all of my life until I learned nutrition, really learned nutrition with a certain long time program you all know about using your likes and dislikes in food and I weigh everything, and I have fought jealousy among other women, jealousy in management, deceitful people and I could go on and on but overall, I have enjoyed the charity work I did for 30 yrs with the different agencies, always giving back, if I had 2 skirts I didn't wear, you got them. It is hard in this world and maybe harder today. Back in the 60s and 70s you could go home and no computer there, no cell phone to be texted to be told you are fat and ugly and smelly..........and any parent reads this and they see that these technical items are harming their children and you have let them in your front door, then put a stop to it. Use them for school work and then shut them off and put them in your own bedroom at night so your children can sleep and always, always tell your children you love them and if you have to drink, do it on the weekend and limit it to 2 drinks and get yourself into a program where you can control your drinking or drugging or cheating. When you have a child, you remember that the child did not ask to be born, you created a work of God and you owe that child everything and above all, love and honesty. Thank you for this outlet. I read Kate G's statement and I realized I had one that stayed with me all of my life, years of abuse stay, they are not forgotten, therapy is needed and you have to shelter your children from the craziness in this world and learn what their day is like in school or work. Teach them they are worth living their lives, don't let anyone take that from a child because there were days I thought I would rather be dead then go back to school the next day with the same skirt and blouse. Alcoholism rids the family of aunts,uncles, grandparents, no one comes to your house, you live isolated. No friends can come over either and you can't go anywhere. Alcohol controls your family's life too.



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Comments
Posted By: FriendshipBenchesUser Verified | 2/22/13 5:49 PM
Angie163, you sound like you are an amazing woman who has had a lifetime of experiences; good, bad and ugly. You are a true survivor. Your story is like so many others and yet, you came out of life a success. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. Angie, you are an inspiration to others and I hope that everyone decides to take the time to read your story! Best wishes to you!
Story Details
Name: Annie Barh
Age: N/A
Twitter: Twitter @None
Country: United States
Location: Boston, MA
Gender: Female
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Relationship Status: N/A
Profession: Other
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