K W
Bullying Survivor
Female | Las Vegas, NV   United States
And from the ashes, I shall rise....
Bullying Type: Physical / Emotional
Twitter @MizCeeDub

Posted By: MizCeeDubUser Verified
2/04/13 11:24 AM
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I took me a long time before I was able to tell my story... I sit here, starring at the screen, asking myself, "where do I begin? What was the most significant moment I'm willing to share? Where do I begin? Can I do this?"... I've erased, edited, and completely deleted this so many times, and yet, I still struggle with what to share, and do I decide if I'm a survivor or still being bullied? In essence, I am a survivor, yet, I still reserve my thoughts and stories for fear of the past coming back. I gave been given an amazing opportunity and through an amazing site such as Bullyville and all the inspirational stories, I feel I'm ready to share part of my story... remember, this is part of a story.
I recently moved to Las Vegas from Washington state. I lived in fear, emotional, mental and physical abuse for over 5 years before I became strong enough to move on. Without a lot of detail, I lived with a man who made it his daily duty to belittle, degrade, and make my life unhappy. What makes it worse, is that this man was a childhood friend, someone I had trusted, and someone who had completed turned my life upside down.
I've lost friends, family, trust, and in reality, I lost me. More recently, with my move to Las Vegas, I have found me again. This man made me who he wanted me to be. I was made fun of for the music I listened to, the way I dressed, the way I talked, and even after giving him a son and a set of twin girls, he made fun of my weight. I was made to feel as if I wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend, let alone his wife, as if he was better than me. I had to work two jobs while he stayed home and talked to his girl "friends". During arguments, he would call his friends and call me names, and belittle me, kicking me out of my own house, all while they were on speaker phone. I ruined anything I cherished, breaking my expensive paintings bought by my mom in Egypt, my grandmothers mirror who passed away months before. He broke an expensive wooden carved native american crown dancer that represented my dad. He would use the kids as a way to make me behave. He even called my older kids names like b*tches, f*gs, b*stards, and would tell me I was crazy and needed help, pills and Jesus. He went so far as to place a bible on my bed and told me I needed the devil drawn out of me. I started drinking, dropped out of college, became a walking zombie. I hated everyone in my presence, dismissed my kids, began to feel what he wanted me to be... nothing... He took the little I had left in me. I was beneath rock bottom. I was a 4.0 student, barely maintaining a 2.1. I missed so much work because of the endless arguments that would last all night, and he would literally NOT allow me to go to sleep. He would continue to yell, kick in the door, then turn the music on so loud all the kids would wake up. The last straw was when I asked him to move out and he refused, moving all his personal belongings to the other side of the house (mother-in-law room), called it his apartment, and was having his girlfriends come over. He said if I tried making him move, he would set the house on fire, with me and kids in it. He stalked me at work, calling my boss, parking in the parking lot, calling my cell back to back for long periods of time. He would hide my car keys so I was late for work. I found knives hidden under my mattress, and found out that he was contacting some of my family telling them I was suicidal! I finally went the court for help. He was served with a restraining order and the very same day, he entered the house and took EVERYTHING, burning my clothes, leaving me and the kids nothing to eat, to bathe with, he even took the toilet paper... He sent people to my house afterwards, threatening me to bring the kids to see him, court date after court date, he lied to the courts to make me look bad to get the kids. After months of family court services interviewing and pulling records, I was finally granted full custody, and he was deemed a threat to me and children and would not be allowed visitation without court supervision. It didn't stop there... He then started a chain of CPS calls, saying I was living in squander (remember he took everything), but unbeknown to him, I had replaced the furniture and repainted the house, giving it a new look for my new life.
After all the horrible things he did, the ugliness he caused, the darkness he bestowed, I have risen from the ashes. My kids have risen from the fear.... I finally graduated college with a 3.4 GPA (thanks to my gpa dropping the year before, I missed graduating Cum Laude), I moved to Las Vegas with the help of the courts blocking his appeals, and Ive remarried to a man who raises these children as his own. We smile again, the fear is gone, and I'm happy with me again. I listen to what kind of music I like, I dress how I like, and I am comfortable in saying I am happy with myself.
I still look over my shoulder, because nothing is keeping him from coming to look for me. I cringe when ever there is letters in my mail box from Washington. I still find trust a big issue, and I often find myself at times wondering all the what if's? I survived childhood bullying, I survived domestic violence twice before, but I have never lived nor experienced the fear of the unknown, manipulating, bullying, and emotional abuse. My story is far from over, and so many things left out, but the inspirational stories on here has motivated me to share a little of mine. And i hope someone out there is inspired to share theirs. bullying, in all forms, needs to be stopped.



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Comments
Posted By: ThanksSoLong | 2/05/13 2:20 PM
Do you feel better now that you got it out of your system (-:
Posted By: MizCeeDubUser Verified | 2/05/13 8:17 PM
It's not all out, but it's a start, which is a better position then just a few year's ago! Thank you!
Posted By: Nside | 2/12/13 10:42 AM
Sharing your problems is a good start. You inspired me to reach out to you. Thank you for being strong and being a part of the solution. Change is going to happen when we have people like you passionate about the cause.
Posted By: MizCeeDubUser Verified | 2/24/13 8:44 PM
Thank you. I really appreciate that. I come from a background that can just about relate to anything, and I think that experience will help me help someone else. Thats all I want to do, is help someone else. I sure wish I had the help when i was growing up. Thank you for the kind words and support...
Posted By: Quicksilver77 | 2/19/13 3:20 PM
Hello MizCeeDub
I am sincere when I tell you that I am sorry for everything ytou have gone through over the years. I am an average person just trying to inspire a positive change is some kids lives. I have been reading the stories of some of the kids on here and it motivated me to create an account and start to do whatever I can to make a change. Im an also an adult who has experienced bullying in my childhood and adulthood. I think with our similar backgrounds we have the chance to reach out to some of these kids and really make a difference since we can come from a place of empathy. Maybe when others see us trying to help they will also be inspired to join in. I would love for you to join me in offering help and comfort to the bullied children, what do you say?
Posted By: MizCeeDubUser Verified | 2/24/13 8:48 PM
I would love to be apart of the inspiration. Thank you for reading my story and leaving such kind words. Where do we start?
Posted By: DoraLynnUser Verified | 2/24/13 8:23 PM
oh my gosh... i have been seeing your post throughout the forums and your such an inspiration. i love how you are positive and very honest.
Story Details


Name: K W
Age: 39
Twitter: Twitter @MizCeeDub
Country: United States
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Gender: Female
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: Married
Profession: Other
Education level: Bachelors degree
University: Central Washington University
Ethnicity: Bi-racial or Mixed
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5 ft 10 in
Weight: N/A
Tattoos: Yes

Chat: Enter