Lea Black Sheep
Bullying Survivor
Female | Houston, TX   United States
My life....My Battle....The other side of me
Bullying Type: Emotional
Posted By: LeaBlackSheep
6/06/12 10:17 PM
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Growing up being me is not easy....its a constant struggle i have to face but with today's society it really is no surprise. I'm fat, ugly, and quiet. I'm an easy target for this cruel world. i get picked on everyday by my peers even my family picks on about my weight. i started over eating when my aunt, Gracie, died of cancer on my birthday in 2005. i was a little chunky but when she died i started eating alot. I've been to funerals before but they were always a friend of a family member or a relative i never heard or met. she was the first passing that hit me like a bullet to my heart. i was silent the whole time she was sick because seeing her in so much pain was too much for me to handle as a kid.....i regret being silent....i never told her bye
I solved every emotion with food and when people picked on me because of it it made it even worse. now im at a weight that's too hard to get off.my dad picks on me thinking that a tiny fat joke is hilarious but its not its emotional. you cant just make fun of someones weight and expect us to not take it too personally. That really scars me deeper than a knife. my mom thinks i have no reason to be getting deppressed or angry when my dad says these things How can she say that?
Next is my other burden i have to deal with...my appearance. lets put it this way im a girl you wouldn't wanna look twice at. Everyday people at school just have to say something about me even though i do NOTHING to anybody. Even my "friend"... i met this guy in 9th grade..we were close friends & i ended up having feelings for him, but in 10th grade EVERYTHING changed. in the beginning of the year we were still friends...my bullies grew worse and worse that year.........he stabs me in the back and joins them. He never said anything about me out loud or in English. Was it because he really cared? Was it because he was a coward? i learned that he was a coward because when the year ended, during that summer, like a stupid fish i took the bait of his fake apology. he ended up doing the exact same thing again this year in 11th grade. towards the end of this year i was so desperate to hid my face from this world. i needed a mask immediately. i found my mask. I've always had makeup but never used it. then next thing you know im putting a lot of wild colored eyeshadow on my face. I couldn't recognize the girl that was staring at me in the mirror. She was unique, she was different, and somehow she was beautiful.
Since then i grew this like obsessive compulsive disorder with makeup. The last month of school noone recognized me at all. People thought that I was a new kid or something and thought Lorraine left (my real name) Lorraine didn't leave.....she DIED and shes NEVER coming back!!!! Even when im not at school i NEED to wear makeup.. Its a MUST. Now school has ended for now and im ready to take it on this year. This mask is my shield my escape from this dark world. yea some people still mess with me calling me a freak but for some reason Lea doesn't give a sh*t. Lea could care less what u say about her which is why i love her so much. with this mask on i don't care, my other side Lea doesn't care. With this ask im Lea Von Manson without it im just that girl Lorraine Alvarado......the weak silent dead girl the world seems to hate....



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Comments
Posted By: Kreation | 6/07/12 12:36 PM
Are you doing any better today? You story saddens me.
Posted By: Agent007 | 6/07/12 2:24 PM
You go girl! See what a little confidence can get ya!
Posted By: unknown12345User Verified | 6/08/12 6:40 PM
Your good looking keep your head up
Posted By: HappyMomof4 | 7/26/12 1:38 PM
Out with the old and in with the new, Awesome!
Posted By: GramsHappy | 9/21/12 2:25 PM
Dont ever blame yourself for accepting an apology, if they have evil in their heart and deceive you are not to blame
Story Details


Name: Lea Black Sheep
Age: 25
Country: United States
Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: Single
Profession: Other
Education level: N/A
University: N/A
Ethnicity: Hispanic or Latino
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5 ft 3 in
Weight: N/A
Tattoos: No

Chat: Enter