castroman cruz
Bullying Survivor
Male | El Paso, TX   United States
kick in my face
Bullying Type: Physical
Posted By: Castroman
5/08/12 5:22 PM
2.5 star rating
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o start off, I'd like to say that no matter who you are, or what you believe in or stand for, you shouldn't ever let anyone else's opinions stop you from being yourself. To that I'd like to conclude my story. Ever since I was little (4 years+) I've been harassed. The reasons? Well, it varied. I was attacked for all things imaginable. Then came the truth when I realized it. That I was different. How? Well, I wasn't exactly your "typical" boy. I didn't care about sports, if I did I just wanted to impress my male figures. But, behind that was me wanting to kiss another boy.. At the age of 10. People always questioned it, I used to be overweight, I used to hang out with weird kids. I used to have weird sinus infections that other kids never understood and thought I was gross. As I got older, people matured and picked on me for other reasons. I've been put down by my mother, insulted by my father and disowned by my mother for the longest time. Facing a struggle in the gay community and everyone else isn't the easiest. I'm still young, still a teen. Not even 18 yet. I've attempted suicide so many times it's almost unimaginable to be quite honest. I've threatened to take my life in front of my mother's face to her face. I ran away to get away from her. I was be*t up at school, I was harassed every day being called the most horrific names you could imagine. No one understood and no one took the time to listen. I didn't know who to turn to, when I turned to my mother she would push me away and disapprove of my "lifestyle". I lost friends, so many of them. I'm still not FULLY out of the closet and I'm not sure if I'm quite comfortable. In fact in my alg. class last week, this kid who constantly puts me down said out like "Do they know you're a homosexual? Do they know you're gay? Or you still in the closet? Hows being in the closet?" in front of this kid I just met who I didn't plan on coming out to anytime soon because I wasn't comfortable with.. Now, not only do the most homophobic people in that class try to keep their distance, but this kid holds that against me and whenever I seem to do something he doesn't like he outs me to the class. I actually moved not that long ago to a new area, solely because of how badly I was harassed. I refused to go to school on days because I wasn't prepared to face the amount of hatred and bullying that was coming at me. Once I had the entire bus attack me with no support from my said "best friend" at the time. Not even the bus driver did anything to stop them. She consciously let those kids harass me. Later that night I attempted hanging myself from my closet. The day before the wear purple to support those in the LGBTQ community whom have taken their lives. I did it that night. I over dosed on pain k*llers, I did things to ruin myself. It got me no where. But as I moved, I noticed things slowly got better.. Things are uphill and downhill all of the time. I'm on anti-depressants for the time being to cope with my depression. Hopefully, things will fully heal up with time. I'm still standing strong spreading my words out in the most positive way I can by writing lyrics as I am now doing what I dreamed of doing; being in a band. I am still a teenager, and I will be bullied continuously throughout high school just because.. Well, it's high school. Until then, I am trying to keep a positive attitude to any obstacle that's thrown my way. Things get better, as long as you have faith and stay positive.



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Story Details
Name: castroman cruz
Age: 39
Country: United States
Location: El Paso, TX
Gender: Male
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Maiden Name: castroman
Relationship Status: Single
Profession: Technology
Education level: Bachelors degree
University: UVMC Health System
Ethnicity: Hispanic or Latino
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 6 ft 5 in
Weight: 100
Tattoos: No

Chat: Enter