What changed you?

[Curious]

What was the moment that made you realize you were a bully and needed to stop?

[BUgrad]

Dont be ashamed to share your story, you might help someone younger with your words of wisdom and change their life.

[GussMAN]

I will be the first bully to speak up. I was a bully in elementary school all the way through my jr. year in high school. I was a jock and I was very popular, it seemed like bullying just came with the territory.

I used to tease this one kid in elementary that everyone else picked on as well. I would call him four eyes and zit face and I would join in and laugh with everyone if someone else was picking on him. I look back and feel so bad.

When I was in 9th and 10th grade I started to bully this kid for being gay. He was flamboyant and only hung out with girls and I guess was an easy target for everyone. It made me uncomfortable when he was around. Deep down I was jealous of him because I was gay too. But there was no way in this world that I would come out of the closet; I was an athlete and what would my parents say. So, I covered it up by bullying him for two years. The day things changed for me was when I saw this kid crying after one of my friends pushed him and called him a fairy and then another friend of mine pushed him and he flew to the ground and didn't even try to get up. Right then I felt like this kid had had enough and our actions were not ok. I went over and helped him up (he was terrified when I walked over) and I told everyone to back off. I ended up going to his house a few days later and apologized for everything I had done and asked for his forgiveness. He ended up being one of my best friends and the first person I came out of the closet to. It took me years to come out to everyone else, but if it wasn't for this kid, I don't know if I would have had the strength.

[bornhappy]

GussMAN you make a very good point about why kids bully in the first place. Why would someone attack over sexuality? Because they are trying to spread the message that they are so against it that they would fight about it so that must make them the opposite of gay. Its a good thing that you didnt drive the kid to the brink of suicide from your bullying and I bet you learned a lot about people and humility when that same guy took you in as a friend and comforted you when you came out of the closet. Its brave of you for sharing your story but I think you owe it to yourself and the kid you bullied to go the extra mile and give back to the gay community. Possibly donate your time to a cause and do anything you can to help troubled gay teens and the problems they will face in life. Then I think you will have repaid that debt GussMAN.

[NeverEver]

I used to pick on kids that were smaller than me until one day I got bullied by a guy that was way bigger. It made me feel like I didnt have anything that I could do and when I got a taste of it I never picked on another kid because the empty stare that you I would put on their faces was exactly how I looked when I was afraid to get beat up. Picking on someone you know you can beat up is such a cowardly thing to take part in.

[moonpied]

The moment I knew I bullied my little sis is when I saw another boy take a toy away from his sister and laughed at her while she was crying. I had done this before to my younger sister tons of times and I had the same reacton to it, lauging. Except when I saw someone else doing what I did I didnt like it. I thought to myself that is fricken mean and if I look anything like that kid I cant do that anymore. I never did anything like that again but it took me seeing someone else doing it for me to want to change. It was like watching a show after my life and hating what I saw so I had to change the channel.

[Bayviews]

@GussMAN I hope you try to get in contact with the boy you teased in high school so you can give him closure and make you both happy.Letting him know that you were suppressing your own gay feelings will help him gto another point in his life.

[MammaJ]

NeverEver wrote :
> I used to pick on kids that were smaller than me until one day I got
> bullied by a guy that was way bigger. It made me feel like I didnt have
> anything that I could do and when I got a taste of it I never picked on
> another kid because the empty stare that you I would put on their faces was
> exactly how I looked when I was afraid to get beat up. Picking on someone
> you know you can beat up is such a cowardly thing to take part in.

Very good sir. You did learn a very good lesson. There will always be someone who is bigger than you.

[Journey]

I would imagine that kids arent usually insightful enough to explain when they realized they were wrong but the better question would be at what age did you notice a change in yourself and why brought that change.

[Telescope]

Very insightful Gussman