I've been bullied. A lot. Sadly, I'm not unlike many people in today's society. When people think of 'bullies', they likely think of the dark days back in middle school. Many of us faced difficult times during those years that began with puberty. Most of my memories are confusing emotional struggles to figure out who I was and where I fit in. I was definitely bullied back then and the cruel comments and mean displays are memories that have left deep scars that remain with me til this day. Bullying made me feel insecure, alone, ugly, powerless, and hopeless at times. Being bullied was the most difficult part of my early teen years. But the bullying didn't stop there for me and with a quick sweep of the internet, it's clear that this epidemic is alive and well like a disease with no cure! It's a horrible disease that haunts me and many many many others in our world!
When my life became very public in 2006 with the airing of our show 'Jon and Kate Plus 8' on TLC, I was honestly surprised that 'adult bullying' via the Internet existed. I am a positive person by nature and the fact that people, many of them, flocked to the Internet to make ugly hurtful and untrue comments about myself and my family truly shocked me! And it didn't stop with comments from people who had never met us! The tabloids printed lie after lie after lie in order to benefit financially, which in my opinion is a form of 'legal' bullying, people flooded companies that I worked for to spread their venom about me, sometimes spending days on end at their computers in a hope to ensure their bullying goal had been achieved and desperately wishing that the targeted company would 'drop' me. Publishers were hounded, businesses who had hired me to speak or appear were badgered with constant hate and the list goes on and on. Fortunately, because most companies are accustomed to dealing with this sort of negative nonsense, they stood by me as a rule and we successfully saw our endeavors come to fruition! I am so grateful to the many corporations, family and friends who have chosen to see me for who I really am and know the truth and goodness that defines me.
Many people ask me how I handle such hate? My answer is this:
First of all, I ignore most of the hate and lies. I have better things to do with my time. I have eight wonderful children who need a mother to show them the love and support that surrounds them, not retaliation and bitterness.
Second, I use my haters as my motivators. If they say I can't do it, rest assured I WILL do it. And I won't stop until I've succeeded in achieving any given goal. With all I've been through, one thing I know about myself is that my persistence is hard to stop! I think of myself as the energized bunny. I keep going and going and going!
Third, as a rule that has resulted from my bullying experiences, I don't believe anything written or said about anyone else and instead, I meet the person and form my own opinion. Having been so misjudged and so bullied over the past six or seven years, I now view others with a total sense of non-judgment. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and don't comment on people whom I have not met. I will not take what an online blog, tabloid magazine, or gossip article says and form my opinion on someone. My eyes and heart are open to form my own opinion should that opportunity arise. As a result, I've met and become life long friends with many people who have had a 'questionable' reputation. Lesson learned! Don't ever judge a book by its cover!
And lastly, since bullies typically come from a place of jealousy, I try not to let any of their vile dangerous words permeate me and who I know I am. Instead, I look on them with empathy and sadness and wish for them a better and happier life. I wish they could look at the world the way I and many others do, as a place that needs our endless love, help and positivity. I teach my kids to reach out and help others when they fall instead of stomping on them and passing by. I also teach them to feel happiness for others successes, not jealousy. If only everyone could see it that way? How wonderful our world would be if bullies didn't exist because we overwhelmed them with our love, which in turn would make them want to find love in their hearts for others instead of their jealousy, hate and harm!
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Posted By: MizCeeDub |
2/08/13 8:20 AM
This is such a great story Kate! I have loved you since your show first aired and wondered how you had dealt with the internet trash. Your an inspiration... your an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing!
Posted By: Wendimatys |
2/08/13 1:16 PM
Same here. I live in Lancaster and I can say you and your children are bullied. I was bullied in a small town we used to live in the same way you are but of course on a smaller scale. We moved back to Lancaster and my daughter is bullied to the point of having an ulcer. I could tell watching your show your personality is much like mine. Unfortunately when you know who you are what you are doing and who with, it intimidates people and their focus is you. I guess you become intriguing and then the jealousy sets in. From there, nothing good happens. Just a vicious cycle. Once I watched it happen to my daughter after happening to me, I could identify it for what it is...senseless. You are right, your haters actually give you momentum. Although, I am having difficulty getting my daughter to see this. Wish you the best!
Posted By: CJWhodunit |
2/08/13 8:49 AM
Posted By: Bullied2noEnd |
2/08/13 9:14 AM
Not only is Kate bullied but if you dare tweet her you become the target of her bullies too.
Thanks Kate for sharing your story! You go girl!
Posted By: BJJ6681 |
2/08/13 9:58 AM
This is a very true statement! Even just a simple tweet to her leaves you with a trail of bullies until they get bored and move on to the next victim. I am glad Kate has a way to share her story without them being able to put their 2 cents in at all!
Posted By: SunnyDay |
2/08/13 3:41 PM
I tweeted Kate a positive tweet and my twitter was hate bombed for weeks non stop.
The haters that stalk Kate's twitter and blog are seriously scary.
Posted By: BJJ6681 |
2/08/13 9:54 AM
Thanks for sharing here Kate and I am so glad we have somewhere to comment that won't get us attacked for supporting you!!!! Keep fighting the good fight and don't let the bully's win!
Posted By: ZiggyFlo |
2/08/13 2:38 PM
Yes, we can express ourselves on a widely read public forum and tell our experiences without attack.
Kate is being very gracious in not stating those who have bowed to the bullies against her and have in fact affected her real life.
One support comment for Kate, posted anywhere, will result and 20 attack comments, towards Kate and towards the person who posts the support comment. I have had people try to impersonate my screen name, ZiggyFlo, because it's a screen name associated with full support of Kate & speaking out against the attacks on her. I've had to sign up for sites I normally have no interest in signing up for because if I don't, they will grab that screen name, ZiggyFlo and try to post hate against Kate using that screen name. Let me state here clearly & unequivocally, if anyone >ever< sees the screen name ZiggyFlo or a variation thereof, posting anything but positive support for Kate, it is >not< me, it is someone who grabbed the screen name before I could,
Those who spend their days attacking Kate want nothing more than for it to appear that a strong Kate supporter has turned against her and they aren't beyond faking to make it appear so. In fact, there are no depths they won't sink to in their bullying.
Posted By: CJWhodunit |
2/09/13 6:37 AM
They are doing the same thing here as well, Ziggy, using my real name and my long time screen name "CJWhodunit" (after my love of Agatha Christie mysteries) and variations of both...impersonating others online is illegal in many places, and they need to cease and desist hiding behind our names so they can spew their hate in forums like cafemom.com, rumorfix.com, radaronline.com, etc.
Posted By: Stash |
2/08/13 10:01 AM
Great article, Kate! You are an inspiration to many with your positive outlook on life! Your pathetic haters could take a few lessons from you.
Posted By: Bullied2noEnd |
2/08/13 10:18 AM
Some of the hate tweeters have 10's of thousand's of posts of hate to kate. Anyone who tweets her. man, woman, teen and they are targeted.
Posted By: BHappy |
2/08/13 3:15 PM
So true and they go to any site who posts an article about Kate and flood the site with thousands of hate comments about her and the children. I've seen hate tweeters who have over 100,000 hate tweets to Kate and her fans. These people need prayers said for their dark souls:(
Posted By: BHappy |
2/08/13 11:26 AM
What a glorious day for Kate and her fans. I'm so glad that Kate finally spoke out about the haters and all the lies and vile comments they make and the fact that they stalk her everywhere online. I hope and pray that the bullies are stopped but unfortunately I don't think they will because they are addicted to hating and bullying her and her fans. I'm afraid the only way they will get the message is if Kate files a lawsuit against the whole group that have stalked her for years day in and day out. I also hope the media gets the message and stops all their greedy attempts at using Kate as a means to make money off her and her family by printing all the vicious lies they write about her and her family. Thank you Bullyville for giving Kate a forum to speak out against the bullies. Kate is also a voice for all the "celebrities" who have also had numerous lies printed about them and Kate's wonderful attitude to not believe what the media writes about them and her decision to get to know the "person" instead of the misconception about that person that the media has written about them. Bravo Kate and Bullyvile!
Posted By: Mojito |
2/08/13 12:00 PM
I'm so glad you've finally spoken out about this. We have all watched it happen for the last few years. It's been disgusting to watch. Knowing that speaking out against the hate only got us attacked back didn't stop a lot of us from sticking up for you. I'm glad you've finally decided to stick up for yourself. Enough is enough.
Posted By: ZiggyFlo |
2/08/13 12:44 PM
I am pleased to see Kate speaking out about this. She had, and still is taking a lot. I also am pleased she spoke out about the misrepresentation of the rags mags is also a form of bullying because it is. As others have stated, even if a person leaves one positive tweet to Kate, they are the target of bullies who spend nearly every waking moment attacking Kate and those who like and support Kate. I've seen them attack more than one innocent person to the point they would close down their twitter account. Every hate tweet they send to Kate confirms Kate's story. There is a difference between disagreeing with someone and/or disliking them and full out rage attacks - as Kate is subjected to on her twitter everyday. These people demand that Kate either close her twitter or put her twitter on private. Kate has every right to be public with her twitter as every person does. She has every right to mention her kids as every mother does. If people don't like her twitter, then stay off of it. Don't demand she do according to as they feel. It's HER life not theirs, it's HER kids, not theirs. As a strong supporter of Kate's, I have also been attacked, lied about, tried to be forced through bullying tactics to stop my support of Kate, to try to scare and intimidate me to close my blog, and even threats made to me. For nothing more that I support Kate and spoke about about the lies made about her.
Posted By: FunnyBunny1 |
2/08/13 1:40 PM
Thank you for bravely sharing your story Kate. I have seen these bullys on your twitter account. Its shocking that they have almost formed a club of vileness to celebrate ruining a family.
I applaud you as a mother who does her very best to support her 8 during such difficult times and have no tolerance for anyone who would interfere with your right to work. I hope you continue to press on and I am very happy that you are exposing this trend.
All support for Kate Gosselin is a vote against bullys!
Posted By: GGINTHEHOUSE |
2/09/13 1:11 AM
Sorry about how you feel Kate, my grandaughter 5 years old was bullied in pre-school so badly that she is having a hard time trusting anyone in Kindergarten. Bullying is never ok, perhaps you should talk to the tv shows that always show you angry and screaming at someone, they are the guilty ones who portray you in such a bad light. GG
Posted By: CocoP |
2/09/13 2:51 AM
I am so glad Kate has had the opportunity to give her point of view in a safe environment. I, too was a victim of Kate's bullies & it not only gave me insight into her life, it made me like her more seeing how strong, positive & capable she is. No person at any age should have to go through what she puts up with. Women should support each other! Well done Kate, keep up the great work & I wish you every success in the world for you & your 8.
Posted By: Judizee |
2/09/13 4:58 PM
Couldn't help but notice that the Entertainment spot that I read a clip of you blog, its MSN, they had written in red a place I could go and see some ugly faces of you. What is all that about? I call that being a Bully. Bully and mean are the same to me. Years are spent trying to get over the damage it causes and not even realizing that it was bullying. I didn't really realize it until I was in my 60's, and at a class reunion, one of my former bullies bullied me, and a thought went through my brain...She had never changed, still mean. How sad it is for the Bully, a life time of not knowing what they have done...
Posted By: anniegetuguns |
2/09/13 5:50 PM
I'm glad about your site & me 2 have the same beliefs in how I view things & people. I'm a positive person & people who bully really don't like that @ all & wants us to feel misable like them. That's why I lost my last job due to a bully, but I was given a separation with pay & I feel so glad not to be with that company.At 1st I was upset that the bullier took my job I worked so hard for & they didn't get rid of her. But when I finally got time 2 think it all over I thank God 4 removing me from the worst job & company I had ever worked for. I'm still positive & 4 sure I carry the scars also. Thank u 4 moving foward Kate & standing up to the public about u,your kids &,your life.I find u 2 be a role model against this disease.
Posted By: Chukkigirl48 |
2/09/13 8:08 PM
Hey Kate!! I loved your show and followed it faithfully. I miss seeing you and your beautiful children. I don't think anyone really knows how difficult it must have been to do all that you did for your home and children as well as doing a very invasive television series. Yes you chose the path but my word did everyone expect you to be miss happy guru at every turn. When you are an outspoken, opinionated woman it seems to rile people up!! If you are an outspoken, opinionated man, well now that seems to be a horse of another color!! I miss seeing you and just wanted to drop a not letting you know it is nice to see you now and then in the public eye. Bullies are everywhere, sadly, just mean spirited people with too much time on their hands. Take care of your family and I wish you all success in your future endeavors. Looking for you in the public again!!
Posted By: Stash |
2/11/13 7:22 AM
Kate's haters think themselves so clever and intelligent, but their arrogance is wearing thin. From the time Kate came on Twitter, a group of haters have banded together so that at least one of them is online 24/7 in order to harass anyone who speaks positively about Kate. They copy Kate's Twitter ID on EVERY SINGLE POST THEY MAKE, no matter what the subject, so that when a fan searches for Kate's tweets, they automatically have to see her haters' posts, too. THEN... when an unsuspecting fan tries to refutes one of their lies, they report them to Twitter for sending unsolicited tweets. Why Twitter won't deal with this beyond me. The so called "Truthers" are nothing but hate filled liars who have a vendetta against a single mother of eight based on snippets of her life from a TV show that was on seven years ago and lies posted by people who claim to live in her community and know her every move. These psychopaths need to be stopped. They used to claim to be child advocates, but they don't even care about the kids anymore. Anyone who cared about someone's kids would never try to destroy the mother that they love. Thanks, Bullyville, for bringing these liars to the public's attention.
Posted By: Nside |
2/12/13 10:45 AM
We love you Kate! Its hard to have you ever hear us with so many people shouting words of hate. Stay strong you have plenty of support from people that care about you and your struggles.
Posted By: Angie163 |
2/20/13 10:12 AM
It is about time that everyone leave this woman alone and also her children. This horrible man that said he found her hard drive in the trash and writing a terrible book as if we need to read this. Who cares about a woman and her 8 children and their real life. Those kids are well taken care of, provided for, happy and get caught up in their immature father's girlfriends in terrible tweets and rol items. Sick is what it is. If Kate is back on TV and her children want to be, who cares? Sad but true. Stay strong Kate and remember you do have people who would love to see the progression of you, a divorced mother of 8, making a living on TV, whether with the children or without. You have a great sense of humor, are very kind and can't help the paranoia as you just can't trust people. Time has gone by, bloggers are sick when their aim is to destroy someone. God Bless You and your family and your desire to enrich your children's life. Angie
Posted By: PeggyScot |
3/30/13 11:23 PM
Kate-I admire your strength in standing up to the cyberbullies and vicious tabloids.
Posted By: Athenidora |
4/14/13 4:26 PM
Way to go Kate! I I admire your determination to do the right thing and never give up, especially when things get tough! Cyber bullying is down right ridiculous. Most of the time, the cyber bully is probably someone that had been bullied themselves, and has to hide behind a computer and act like cowards.Through their negative actions, they have to bring down people around them to bring up their self worth. People like that need serious counceling. I applaud your determination as well as your positive outlook to see past the negative and focus on the most important thing in life, which is family. I feel sorry for people that go through life with such negative views and lose out on what life truely has to offer. You are the perfect example if living life to the fullest, especially with your children!