Heather Brewer
Bullying Survivor
Female | Saint Louis, MO   United States
Recalls her bullied childhood
Bullying Type: Physical / Emotional
Posted By: North40
11/30/12 12:15 PM
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In a interview about her book "The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod" Heather explains her personal struggle with her own childhood bullies and how to make change.


IML: The idea of being an outcast or outsider is central to your story. Vlad is terribly bullied at school. Did this come from your own experience?

Heather: Actually, I think I had it worse that Vlad. I was picked on from Kindergarten all the way through my senior year. I was pinched, and punched, and kicked, and spit-on. I had rumors spread about me; I had things written on my folder. It was awful, going through school. So I withdrew into myself, and I wrote a lot of stories to get those feelings out. I also read everything I could get my hands on, because I could live those different lives if I was reading stories. I would become the characters I was reading about and live with their problems, which seemed so much smaller than my own. Everything in the stories ended happily, but my life just wasn't that way at the time. And that's one of the reasons I started writing the Vlad Tod series, because those feelings of being picked on and bullied really followed me into my adulthood, and they wouldn't go away. So I decided to confront those feelings head-on and write this book and deal with exactly what it felt like, to feel like a freak who didn't belong. And I'm happy to say that by the end of writing this series, I didn't have any of those feelings anymore. Because I got them all down on the page.

IML: How did the bullying begin? Was there anyone you reach out to for help, or did you feel completely alone?

Heather: I did feel completely alone. It began with a boy who pulled my hair when I was going down the slide. And that same boy was in my class, and he put a tack on my chair. Everybody laughed, because I sat on the tack, and then, every single day, someone in my class would put a tack on my chair, and try to "get me" again. It became a clear message of, "You don't belong here. You're not one of us. We don't accept you, and it's okay for us to pick on you." And that's just something that followed me all through school.

IML: Why do you think your schoolmates singled you out for this kind of bullying?

Heather: I really don't know. Maybe it was because I've always been very outspoken and I've always had my own opinion about things. I've never been one of those people to follow the crowd. But in the end, I really have no idea what it was that made them do that.

IML: Did it have a snowball effect? Like, once you were the victim, you became the permanent victim?

Heather: Absolutely, because it became acceptable. They thought, "That's Heather... we're allowed to pick on her." I don't know what was worse, the kids picking on me, or the other kids who wouldn't stand up and say something. When I was trying to defend myself, they wouldn't say, "Hey, she's right. You shouldn't be doing this to someone. It's not nice."

IML: Were any teachers or guidance counselors able help to you?

Heather: Oh, no. They were actually part of the problem. I would be in the hallway at school, being bullied, and I'd see teachers snicker, or turn their heads. They thought it was acceptable, like "Oh, that's okay. It builds character. You can pick on her, because she's THAT girl." And now, I've toured all over this country, and I've asked my readers: "In your school, what is working and what isn't working when it comes to anti-bullying efforts?" And they all say the same thing: the teachers are part of the problem. They're not helping stop the bullying. And that's sad because you should be looking for people in authority positions to step in and stop something like that. I don't know if they feel like they can't do anything about it, or that it builds character, or that it's just part of being a kid, or something.

IML: What do you say to teachers when you have the opportunity to talk to them?

Heather: The biggest thing for me is, if you are a teacher, and you see another teacher acting in a way that is supporting bullying, then you need to say something to that teacher. Because it has to stop with someone.

IML: Bullying has been in the news a lot lately, and we've all heard of the tragic cases where young people have taken their own lives because they couldn't cope with taunting, teasing and abuse. What do you want to say to teens and tweens who feel desperate and alone?

Heather: It is really terrifying when someone feels like they've reached a point where no one can help them. I wish that somehow we could get through to them to tell them that there is hope. That things will get better. That things can change...but that you can't let the bullies win. When someone thinks, "No one is there for me, no one cares about me," they should know that really, there are many, many people who would love to reach out to them. And I hope that if anyone is thinking of doing something like hurting themselves, that they won't. Because, really, in the end, that does let the bullies win. And you can't let them win.

IML: What about the kids doing the bullying? What do the bullies need to hear?

Heather: I don't think that a lot of teens who bully actually realize that they're doing it. When I do appearances, I always tell young people that if someone is making you feel like you don't belong somewhere, or that you're inferior, or makes you question your self- esteem, then you are being bullied. So if you are the one making someone feel that way, then you are bullying. If you're doing something that makes someone so upset that they don't feel like they can come to school, or they have to dodge or avoid you, then chances are you're bullying. And you can stop. Don't fall into the group mindset, where a couple of kids are picking on someone, and you laugh along with them. Because then you're part of the problem.


http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/blog/bullying/



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Comments
Posted By: Guide | 12/03/12 12:30 PM
I cant stand hearing about kids that are spit on! That is so disgusting that someone would ever imagine to spit on another person. The teachers should immediately kick that student out of the classroom until a mandatory meeting with their parents takes place and the message is crystal clear that if you do this again you will be permanantly kicked out of the classroom.
Story Details


Name: Heather Brewer
Age: 44
Country: United States
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Gender: Female
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Maiden Name: N/A
Relationship Status: N/A
Profession: Other
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